A mathematician and a team of engineers

A team of engineers were required to measure the height of a flag pole. They only had a measuring tape, and were getting quite frustrated trying to keep the tape along the pole. It kept falling down, etc. A mathematician comes along, finds out their problem, and proceeds to remove the pole from the ground and measure it easily. When he leaves, one engineer says to the other: "Just like a mathematician! We need to know the height, and he gives us the length!"

Understanding the Wall Street Bailout Plan

Once upon a time, a man appeared in a village and announced to the
villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each.

The villagers, knowing there were many monkeys, went to the forest and
started catching them. The man bought thousands at $10 each and, as
supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort.

He then announced that he would buy monkeys at the rate of $20 each.
This renewed the villagers efforts and they started catching monkeys
again.

Soon, the supply diminished and people started going back to their
farms.

The offer increased to $25 each, and the supply of monkeys became so
scarce it was an effort to even find a monkey, let alone catch it!

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50 each! However,
since he had to go to the big city on some business, his assistant would
buy them on his behalf.

The assistant gathered all the villagers near the highway just outside
the village and said, "Look at this big cage, and see all these monkeys
that my boss has already collected. I will sell them to you for $35
each, and when my boss returns, you can sell them back to him for $50."

The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all the monkeys
for 700 billion dollars.

They never saw the man or his assistant again, only lots and lots of
monkeys!

...

IT DOESN'T GET MUCH CLEARER THAN THIS.

Haram menikahi gadis satu kampung.

Haram menikahi gadis satu kampung.

JAKIM telah mengeluarkan fatwa baru.
Setelah diadakan perbincangan dan diskusi di antara para pemimpin,
JAKIM dan ahli ulama' memberikan fatwa pada tanggal 3 February tahun 2009:

"HARAM HUKUMNYA BAGI SEORANG MUSLIM LAKI-LAKI UNTUK MENIKAH DENGAN GADIS SATU KAMPUNG"

Fatwa JAKIM ini telah menimbulkan perdebatan dan bantahan yang sangat sengit antara yang pro dan kontra. Bahkan banyak pihak yang menyatakan bahawa JAKIM telah mengambil keputusan yang tidak munasabah dan terburu-buru. Wartawan Berita Harian telah meminta pegawai kanan JAKIM untuk memberi ulasan yang mendalam sebab sebab JAKIM mengeluarkan fatwa sedemikian. Inilah isi wawancara tersebut:

Wartawan: Bagaimana JAKIM boleh mengeluarkan fatwa haram untuk menikahi gadis satu kampung?

Pegawai Kanan: Bagaimana tidak haram, sedangkan menikahi empat orang wanita sahaja sudah berat, apalagi satu kampung...!! !

Nak cerita pun malas...

Pada masa dahulu, ada sebuah kampung di mana semua rakyatnya amat rajin belaka tidak ada yang malas. Jadi pada suatu hari, rajanya membuat pengumuman hendak mencari seorang yang malas.

Semasa perhimpunan itu, adalah seorang lelaki mengaku, katanya, "Patik adalah yang paling malas." Raja pun bertanya, "Apa tahap malas tuan hamba?" Lalu jawab lelaki tersebut, "Kalau patik hendak makan, ada orang yang suapkan patik."

Tiba-tiba datang seorang lelaki lagi lalu berkata, "Patik lebih malas lagi daripada dia tuanku." Tuanku pun bertanya kepadanya, "Sampai mana pulak tahap malas tuan hamba?" Maka jawabnya, "Kalau patik makanpun, sampai ada orang tolong kunyahkan."

Maka raja pun terdiam seketika. Tanpa disangka² datang seorang budak lelaki kepadanya sambil berkata,
"Patik adalah yang paling malas tuanku." Raja pun bertanya, "Bagaimana pula tahap kemalasan kamu si budak?" Budak itu pun menjawab, "Nak cite pun malas."

The band dengan lead singer

Seperti yang dimohon oleh bad.... presenting the band with its lead singer...

Teka Siapa Tutup Muka??

Rockers United.....

Peh... 80's